


Like Boots or Hearts

by MenacingPlatypus



Series: All Our Worlds Collide [2]
Category: The Last Kingdom (TV)
Genre: ALL THE ANGST, M/M, Modern AU, Open Marriage, Prequel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:09:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26982658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MenacingPlatypus/pseuds/MenacingPlatypus
Summary: Set before the events of Twentieth Century Boy.Same old song and dance - love and dysfunction and sassy side characters, oh my.
Relationships: Finan & Gisela (The Last Kingdom), Finan/Gisela/Uhtred of Bebbanburg, Finan/Uhtred of Bebbanburg
Series: All Our Worlds Collide [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1969150
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Like Boots or Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends, it's been a while.
> 
> Reality has been getting in the way, as is its nasty habit, but I've got some time again and the drive to clear out my 'To be finished.' The bulk of this has been written for a long time, so it seems only fair that it actually gets to see the light of day. The editing was pretty loose, so apologies for errors. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy and thanks for reading!

Now you've blocked off most of Main Street  
For your faith parade  
Well, everyone in town, now, they probably all agree  
I'm lying in the bed I made

See, when it starts to fall apart  
Man, it really falls apart  
Like boots or hearts, oh, when they start  
They really fall apart, well, fall apart

Well, you won't even let me talk to you  
We got some air to clear  
Well we'd probably only agree on one thing anyway  
That's what the hell is happening here?

Boots or Hearts - The Tragically Hip

“We’d like it if you came with us.” Gisela’s voice is low next to Finan’s ear. She’s leaning over the back of the chair, cupped hands touching his shoulder. Finan glances over at her before looking towards where Uhtred and Sihtric run after a laughing Young Uhtr ed . Stiorra toddles along with them, beaming to be included in the chase. 

“Come where?” Finan asks, taking a sip from his beer which is still cold even though he’s been nursing it for twenty minutes. They’re emerging from winter, but February is still a cool month and the kids are in thick coats and rainboots. 

“Finan.” Even if the Irishman had a thousand years he doesn’t think he would be able to master his tone the way Gisela has. The woman can express a dozen thoughts with a single word sometimes and Finan prefers not to be on the end of a scolding tonight. He knows what she’s talking about, of course. This time every year, Gisela and Uhtred go to one of her family properties in the North. Uhtred’s wife often brushes off any mention of her family and their significant wealth, all of them have passed except for her brother, a soft, but friendly man. Guthred runs the family company and he’s happy to be generous to his only sister and allocating one of the family properties for her use is a part of that. The beach house is undeniably beautiful and Finan has joined them the last three years, but this year Uhtred’s father died. 

Being a hateful old bastard, Uhtred Senior’s funeral had been poorly attended, but Uhtred had felt compelled to go. There was absolutely no love lost between Finan and Senior, but when Gisela and the kids came down with a flu Finan had volunteered as moral support. The funeral itself was relatively uneventful and the crowd at the wake sparse. Uhtred had taken it better than Finan would have thought, shaking hands with distant relatives, answering invasive questions about how he was going to manage his father’s estate, on and on all afternoon. It wasn’t until they got back to the hotel that Finan could see the toll of the day. 

Gisela is completely aware of Uhtred’s history with Finan and she has made her lack of objections clear, but Finan can sense that she prefers to be involved and it fills Finan with stinging guilt to be inside of her husband when she’s not there. The night of Senior’s funeral had been the first time Uhtred and Finan were alone together in months and they had gotten carried away. 

All together, he has been second-guessing their arrangement. Finan enjoys being the third in their marriage, but he is starting to seriously consider the effect it’s having on his mental health. He tries to scold himself for being greedy, or picky, but he can’t help how he feels. No matter how much he loves and desires Gisela, Finan comes second to a man he would revolve his world around and that’s increasingly difficult to bear. Especially given that not that long ago, Uhtred belonged only to him. 

It isn’t as though Finan can even wish for their lives to change without feeling a massive wave of guilt just at the thought of it. If Finan hadn’t taken his family’s money to go back to Ireland for the apprenticeship, if he had stayed here, he would have Uhtred, but Gisela and the children wouldn’t be a part of their lives and they are precious to him, truly. And while he is rewriting history, he could wish for Uhtred to have done the same, reject his acceptance to a top school and the opportunity to work for Alfred. They could have gone to Ireland together. Being so young and so  _ bound _ , they thought they could do everything, and the universe would wait for them, hold their place with each other. They didn’t count on Finan loving the program and staying on for an extra two years and they didn’t count on the normal entanglements of life, unexpected pregnancies included. 

Resisting the urge to sink into his chair and scowl, Finan curses the hands of fate for bringing him so close to everything he wants but holding it out of reach  _ just so. _

Gisela is still waiting for him to speak, the woman has the patience of a saint, but Finan isn’t sure what to say. He wants to go with them and she knows that, and Finan isn’t mentally prepared to lie to Gisela at the moment , even if it’s in his best interest.  The woman’s powers of perception are just as great as he’s given her credit for and she taps her hands against his shoulder gently a few times.

“Come into the kitchen,” she suggests quietly, walking back into the house before Finan can refuse. Releasing a deep breath, Finan obeys, not noticing how Uhtred’s eyes follow them. 

-

Gisela stands at the counter, chopping vegetables for the kids’ lunch, and before Finan can say anything she starts, “I know our arrangement is somewhat unusual.” 

“Gisela-“ She holds up a hand and he leans on his elbows on the counter, effectively silenced. 

“And I know, it isn’t always eas y. ” Gisela’s gaze is simultaneously sympathetic and knowing. Finan swallows and nods. They have been friends and more for years by this point. If anyone is going to understand Finan’s inner turmoil, it will be Gisela. Loving Uhtred means being consumed by him, the man does nothing in half measures. “And if you feel like it’s become too much,” she dips her head to meet his eyes directly as she adds softly, “or not enough, then I understand, of course. And Uhtred will understand.” She sounds a little less sure of this last part and Finan purses his lips. Uhtred has never dealt well with being denied. “I would really like you to think about coming up with us this weekend though.” Finan sighs and takes a cucumber from the cutting board. 

“It’s not that I don’t want to go, Gisela,” Finan admits dully, imploring her with his eyes. Putting down the knife, Gisela walks around the counter and places her cool hands on either side of his face. 

“It’s selfish of me to ask, but I will, just one more time.” Keeping Finan’s eyes on her, Gisela pulls on a string she knows will work. “Uhtred needs a change of pace, if only for a few days. He’s working constantly and all this mess with Alfred is weighing on him. Between the office and me and the kids, he needs some time away and he will want you there too.”

Finan places his hands over hers. “That’s a dirty trick,” he mutters before smirking tiredly. “And I don’t know how much rest he’ll get with the two of us to himself.” 

“I said he needs a change of pace, not rest.” Gisela brushes her lips against his, her smile wicked when she pulls back, and Finan knows he won’t deny them. 

\--

“Looks like you’re packing,” Sihtric observes from the doorway of Finan’s bedroom. 

“Circle gets the square,” Finan mutters, rubbing his jaw as he debates shaving before he leaves. He’s been wearing his hair a bit shorter than usual, which he likes, but he still feels naked without  his beard .  Gisela had persuaded both he and Uhtred to be relatively clean shaven for her annual Christmas photos and Uhtred seems to like it. 

“Interesting,” Sihtric says, dragging the word out, “seeing as you said to me, and this is a direct quote,” Sihtric lowers his voice for his impersonation and Finan resists throwing his socks at him, “’I swear to God, Sihtric, if I even so much as put a toothbrush in that bag, cut my fucking hands off.’” Finan ignores Sihtric’s dramatic re-telling and resumes folding clothes into the bag. 

Leaning against the doorway, Sihtric continues casually. “Although, I think you should cut yourself some slack, have some fun.” Finan looks up and watches Sihtric waggle his eyebrows at him in the dresser mirror. 

Shaking his head, but unable to suppress a tight smile, Finan says, “You know it’s not that simple.” 

Sihtric shrugs. “As long as you’re suffering together, what does the rest really matter?” Finan frowns, looking up at Sihtric for the first time. 

“What do you mean ‘suffering together’?” Staring down at the floor, Sihtric rolls his lips together, the same face he has made when he’s said something he wasn’t supposed to since they were kids. “Oh, now you have nothing to say,” Finan huffs, grabbing a pair of jeans from the drawer. 

“Well,” Sihtric starts, “I mean, you know this isn’t ideal for him either.” 

Now, Finan straightens and stares at Sihtric. “You’re fucking kidding, right?” Finan asks incredulously. 

Sihtric raises his eyebrows and his hands. “I know Gisela likes to handle you both with kid gloves, and I guess that’s what makes you three functionable, but sometimes I think you forget you have all the power.” 

“All the power?” Finan repeats, mouth hanging open. 

Sihtric widens his eyes, shakes his head and says, “At least you’re friends with Gisela and you know she’s sticking around. Uhtred has to put up with your randoms, which, come on Finan, they may be hot, but not always that bright, or interesting, or-“ 

“Alright, alright” Finan says, cutting Sihtric off and raising his hands. Silent for a moment, Finan chews the inside of his lip before snapping out, “Uhtred doesn’t care about any of those girls. He’s never said anything really and it’s not like I bring them around that often.” 

“Right,” Sihtric says, studying his nails like he’s actually interested in them. “So he never knows what it means when one does start hanging around and if she’ll be  _ the one _ . You have to admit, Finan, the odds of you finding a woman like Gisela are low, my friend. You’re charming and handsome and all that shit, but women like her aren’t just hanging around. At least not where you’re finding them.” 

“This is a great pep talk,” Finan declares, zipping his bag closed with a little more force than necessary. 

Grinning, completely without remorse, Sihtric says, “What can I say? I see that self-pitying look in your eyes as you’re off to a luxurious beach house for five days with two of the most beautiful people we know and I just can’t help myself, but to kick a man when he’s down.”

“Ha, ha,” Finan says mockingly, disconcerted as Sihtric’s words penetrate more deeply than he would like. Small things he’s noticed, but disregarded, start to pile up behind his eyes: Gisela scolding Uhtred for commenting on that librarian Finan had been seeing with the absolutely enormous breasts, the Dane driving several blocks out of his way to have breakfast with Finan for weeks after the Irishman expressed a passing interest in the girl who waits tables there, the guy at the dog park. Uhtred had started bringing the kids to visit on the weekends to “see all the dogs at the park,” to give Gisela a break and keep Finan and Al company. Narrowing his eyes, Finan glares at Sihtric. “What else do you know?” He nearly growls. 

Sihtric is unruffled and says, “I know that I wouldn’t mind heading up to the beach while you look after that stinky mutt, frigid, or not, but I’m a bit thin for Uhtred’s tastes, when it comes to men anyway.” Smirking, Sihtric dodges the sandal Finan throws at him, adding, “I noticed you packed your good time underwear, so you can’t be too upset.” Ducking the other sandal, Sihtric keeps on. “And they do make your ass look great, I can see why-“ Finan shuts the door on him, but even the wood barrier can’t stop Sihtric’s voice, or his snickers, from filtering through. “God, try to give a guy a compliment.” 

\--

Finan walks into the house behind Uhtred. Marveling once again at the oddness of the lives of people with money. It’s not like they starved or anything when he was a kid, but after his mother came here to escape his father, money had been tight. Beach houses were a bit beyond them, but it had been normal for Gisela growing up. Uhtred’s wife had come up earlier to drop off the kids with her brother and his wife who lived not too far and, surprise, she had decided to stay the night with them. The woman knew how to fight dirty. 

Dropping his bag in the living room, Finan watches Uhtred wander to the kitchen and read a note on the counter, presumably left by the caretaker. Finan goes  to  the back doors and stares down the beach. It’s dark already and the water is just a great black mass, like the end of the world drifting towards them. Uhtred brings him a beer at the window and stands beside him silently. The steady rhythm of Uhtred’s breathing beside him lulls Finan and he snakes an arm around the taller man’s waist. 

Uhtred turns to press his lips to Finan’s temple. “Hot tub?” Finan shivers at Uhtred’s lips moving over his skin before agreeing. 

“Hot tub.”

\--

Three beers later, Finan and Uhtred sit in the hot tub talking about nothing in particular and looking at the stars overhead. Arms spread to either side along the rim of the tub and with his head back, Finan hears the gentle noise of Uhtred moving towards him in the water during a break in conversation. The Dane sits close enough for their legs to be pressed together and his arms wind around Finan’s middle. Lowering his chin, Finan places a hand on the back of Uhtred’s neck and smiles at him warmly. 

Something flashes through Uhtred’s eyes, but it’s gone too quickly for Finan to analyze and then he’s more interested in what Uhtred’s mouth is doing. Humming contentedly, Finan turns into Uhtred and the Dane’s lips leave his neck and press hotly against Finan’s. Uhtred is more forceful than usual, his kisses demanding and Finan’s heart races. 

“Can I fuck you later tonight?” Uhtred pants against his cheek. 

Finan swallows and brushing his nose against Uhtred’s, he replies breathily. “You can fuck me right here, if you like.” 

Uhtred runs his lips along Finan’s jaw and chuckles darkly, the sound sending a jolt through Finan’s middle. “After last year, I think we should try not to traumatize Mrs. Green anymore.” 

Finan tries to scoff, but it’s dampened by Uhtred’s lips working against the skin over his pulse. “That old bird, I heard the creak of her binoculars case opening when we drove up.” Finan runs his hands over the tops of Uhtred’s leg ,  feeling the texture of his skin and the ridges of muscle. “And last year was not my fault.”

“I can’t believe you answered the door that way,” Uhtred says, laughing against Finan’s shoulder, no doubt recalling the horrified face of Mrs. Green. 

Finan melts into Uhtred,  even as  he shakes his head, enjoying the feeling of Uhtred’s skin rubbing against his, and complains incredulously, “Who goes to the back door of someone’s house they don’t know? Honestly.”

“We know her now,” Uhtred says, grinning. 

“Intimately,” Finan adds before twisting in Uhtred’s arms and pretending to spy the aging woman in her window over his shoulder. “I think I can see her now, Uhtred. Sure enough, the binoculars are out! Maybe we should hop up on the deck and give her a real show.” They lean into each other laughing and Finan pulls back to watch Uhtred for a moment. Like Finan, Uhtred is wearing his hair shorter these days and the Irishman must admit that he misses being able to wrap the long brown strands around his fist. Uhtred truly is a striking man and at the happiness in his luminous blue eyes, Finan has to remind himself to breathe. 

Something must show on his face, for Uhtred sobers and simply stares at Finan for a moment. That same strange look casts a shadow over his features and then he is pulling Finan to standing with him. 

“Upstairs,” he says, gripping the Irishman’s hips tightly. 

“Lead on,” Finan manages hoarsely. 

\---

The master bedroom is dark when they stumble through the door, hands roaming greedily. Finan’s heel hits the dresser leg and he curses under his breath while Uhtred chuckles. They finally find the bed and lay across the king-sized mattress together, kisses slowing. Uhtred pulls back, stroking his hand down Finan’s side, letting his fingers trail lazily from the Irishman’s shoulder to hip. 

“You look thoughtful,” Finan observes as he leans forward to press unhurried, open-mouthed kisses across Uhtred’s chest. The tip of his tongue sliding past his lips to trace Uhtred’s nipple. 

With a deep sigh, Uhtred dives in. “I want you to move in with us.” Finan freezes and raises his eyes to Uhtred’s face.

Drawing back, his brow contracts, as he clarifies, “You want me to move in with you and the family?”

Uhtred’s trademark confidence doesn’t falter, but Finan can see uncertainty in the edges of his eyes. “We do, Gisela and I both. We’re buying that house, the one we went to see two weeks ago. It’s big enough for all of us.” 

Finan sits up, “Uhtred,” he starts, but the Dane keeps going. His words come more quickly than normal, a sure sign of nerves. 

“I want you to have your own life, Finan, and I’m not trying to trap you, or guilt you, or any of that, but we’re happy when we’re together, the three of us, aren’t we?” 

Finan hesitates, staring hard into Uhtred’s earnest face. A thread of bitterness works it’s way into Finan’s voice as he challenges Uhtred. “So I will, what? Be the naughty secret in the attic?”

Uhtred sits up at that and Finan can see traces of anger emerging on the Dane’s face as well. “Of course not, we can tell whoever you want. I’m not ashamed of you, Finan, neither is Gisela. We would never be ashamed of loving you, having you as part of our family because you are our family.” Finan breathes out through his nose. It’s true, they are all orphans now, more or less. Uhtred has his mother and Ragnar the Elder, but they live far away and while his contact with them is warm, it’s also relatively infrequent. Ragnar and Brida are the only ones still in the area and they live near Gisela’s brother up north here. Finan spends holidays with Uhtred and Gisela, they have breakfast together on the weekends, they do everything together.

“What about Alfred?” Finan asks harshly. Uhtred’s boss and mentor is an exceptionally demanding man and he had been furious enough when Uhtred and Gisela had their son before they were married. According to Alfred, that little indiscretion had almost cost Uhtred the position he had worked so desperately hard for. Finan knows the man is full of shit, Uhtred is the sharpest mind the Englishman has, but he certainly made Uhtred’s life miserable for a while because of it. This, living with a man, would push off all those problems once again. 

Resentment sets Uhtred’s face into rigid lines at the mention of Alfred and he looks away. “If he wants to fire me for it, he can.” Finan knows it’s Uhtred’s dream to establish his own company one day and Alfred is the fastest, most effective stepping-stone for that. Alfred may be a bastard, but he knows what he’s doing. “If I live my life according to Alfred’s rules, I may as well shut myself into a box when I get home at night.” The last is said so bitterly, that despite Finan’s own irritation, his heart aches for Uhtred. 

Sihtric’s words about power come back to haunt Finan and he starts to see their truth, if somewhat reluctantly. He had been resenting Uhtred for pulling him into this complicated mess, but Finan had come willingly, hadn’t he? Finan wants to be with Uhtred, wants to be with Gisela and to see the kids grow up. They are his family and Gisela had been wrong, it isn’t that they are not enough, but that they are too much. Too much of what he wants and he had been carrying around this absurd guilt over his lifestyle for too long. Yet another pleasant legacy from his famil y and the Church. What if he just lets go and admits he would be happy in this arrangement with them, would that be so bad? 

Finan had been looking for someone to fill a gap in his life he had only perceived to be there. He had been looking because he didn’t feel as though he truly belonged with Gisela and Uhtred, but here, right now, the Dane is telling him differently. A bit of discretion starts to seem like a small price to pay. 

The irritation has melted from Uhtred’s face and he gazes at Finan with those unbelievable eyes, adoration clear on his face. Shifting closer to Finan, Uhtred places a warm hand on the back of his  neck and pulls their foreheads together. 

“I want you to be happy, Finan. I want all of us to be happy. Would it be so wrong?” It’s difficult for Finan to think with Uhtred’s breath ghosting over his skin and the temptation of the Dane’s offer is overwhelming. 

Heaving a broken sigh, Finan places his hand on either side of Uhtred’s ribs, sliding them down to his hips, as he mutters against Uhtred’s mouth. “I’m not sleeping in the attic.” 

Uhtred’s grin, full of love and hope, is almost too much for Finan to bear and he feels an answering burn in his chest. Gripping Uhtred’s hips, Finan encourages the other man into his lap.

With a teasing glint in his eyes, Uhtred’s voice is low and thick with desire as he asks, “I thought it was my turn,” even as he settles firmly on Finan’s thighs. 

“Afraid you’re just going to have to wait, love,” Finan hums huskily, persistent hands already wandering. 

\---

At first, Finan isn’t sure why he’s awake. Cracking one eye, he can see bright sunlight coming in through the small gap in the drapes, but he can’t find a clock. Pushing his face back into the pillow, Finan curls his arm tighter around Uhtred’s back. The Dane lies on his stomach, covers pulled to his waist and tangled in his legs. With his arm and leg over Uhtred, Finan is on the cusp of sleep once more when he hears it again. A light click, a sound so quiet, he almost thinks he’s mistaken, but when he raises his head, he sees Gisela at the end of the bed, customary camera in hand. 

Unlike her brother, whose interests lay in business, Gisela has always been an artist. It was how she met Uhtred. Alfred had sponsored a gallery that did a showcase of her work when Uhtred had just started as an intern. She is forever taking pictures and Finan is well used to her obsession with photographing him and Uhtred together. When he’d asked her about it years ago, Gisela had brushed him off, laughing gently, but her smile had been secretive. On his birthday last year she had gifted Finan a picture of him and Uhtred from their time at this house the previous year in a beautiful frame. It was a shot of them sitting together on the deck with Finan looking out over the water and Uhtred staring at him intently. Even though it isn’t nearly as scandalous as the pictures she’s passed on to him privately, to Finan it feels even more intimate and on the darkest days, he finds himself turning the picture frame down on the dresser, only to guiltily tilt it back up soon after.

He opens both eyes, barely, but she’s already gesturing for him to lie back down. ‘Sorry,’ she mouths at him, ‘go back to sleep.’ Finan is planning on objecting, but it was a late night and the fatigue and the hangover drag him back under. 

The next time he wakes, Finan can hear the light  _ snick _ of the camera again, but it’s Uhtred’s tongue on his spine that’s brought him around. Content, Finan stretches his feet and arms and Uhtred runs his hands along the tensing muscles in his back.  _ Snick _ . Gisela rarely says anything while she watches them and were it not for the distinctive sound, Finan may not have known she was there. They continue quietly for a few more minutes until Finan is rolling over and Gisela is putting the camera aside and crawling onto the bed with them. 


End file.
